The Iraqi Donkeys Association…….by Jamil Shawwa

Four stories- all are real and that is the beauty of it- in the news last week inspired me to write this one. 

It started few days ago, as I was browsing the newspapers, I came across a very exciting piece of news about my favorite animal, the Jackass. The news stated that in Kurdistan Iraq- see, Iraq now in actuality is divided between the Shiite, the Sunni and the Kurds- where the rich soil of oil exists and still new fields to be discovered- a political party by the name of the Iraqi Donkeys Association was licensed, was recognized and granted permission to operate by the regional Kurd government. 

I did not hear anything about taking the opinion of the central government in Baghdad, but anyway, no matter what is the opinion there, we all know that it is irrelevant, the Kurds run their affairs either Baghdad likes it or not. The president of Iraq is a Kurd now, a symbolic position as the actual power resides in the prime minister -Shiite- but still symbols matter in a country that has been suppressed under the former Baath party and other dictators since the bloody coup of 1958 that toppled and killed the royal Hashemite family, cousins of the current royal family in Jordan. 

Back to the donkey association; this political party elected a board of governors and gave the members titles range from mule- the result of a relation between a horse and a donkey- for the big ones, and donkey fort regular members or the rest. Their radio station brays and hee-haw all the time and the headquarter of the party is in a stable, that is a donkey’s stable. 

The second story came from Newark, New Jersey where the Mayor of that city decided as part of his brainstorming or his braying to eliminate the toilette papers from the restrooms of the government offices, imagine, even a real donkey would be embraced to do such thing. 

The third story came, where else, the former capital of the proletarians, Russia, where a group of Nouveau Riche business people decided to parachute a donkey for advertisement purposes. 

The fourth and last so far, you know, it is still open for more members to join- I can add as we speak or write or bray- came from the father and the symbol of the human Jackals, Kim Jung IL of North Korea who threatened to declare war against the United States of America. 

Anyway, as soon as the Iraqi Donkey Association heard of the other three related story, they issued a declaration announcing the beginning of regionalizing and globalizing the donkey association to be a power in the world today, I mean you have the EU, you have the UN, The Arab League, the African Union, and other unions, so why not the donkeys. 

Anyway, the Kurds of Iraq who established the association sent the invitations, and the delegates started to arrive in Erbil, the capital of Kurdistan in Iraq. The first to arrive was the big one and the inspiration, Kim Jung IL, then after that the Russian delegation headed by Vladdmir then came the Mayor of Newark. 

But all of a sudden while all the delegates were in the airport, two new planes asked for permission to land, oh, my God, screamed the head of the Iraqi donkeys association, we do not have enough hay to feed all these unexpected guests but wait a minute the uninvited guests were given permission to land: The first was Muammar Al-Gaddafi of Libya, the second plane had the Iranian Revolutionary guard symbol on it’s tale or bottom, it depends on how you look at things and how you look at Iran mullahs, and it carried Ahmadinejad the president of Iran accompanying him Hassan Nasrala (Rasputin Lebanon) of Hezbolla in Lebanon-another donkey and worst. 

The Iraqi said ok, no problem, the more the merrier. The delegates assembled in the big stable of the donkeys’ world headquarter and the first line of business was to elect the board of governors of the world donkey association.




 Here are the results:

Kim Jung IL: Chairman (son Kim Jong-un took over)

The Russians- Vladimir qualifies after the Russian olympics drugs usage elimination: Vice Chairman

And:

Gaddafi: Treasurer, you know. the oil money of Libya can buy all the hay the association needs. Gaddafi killed during the 'Arab Spring'

The Mayor of Newark-New Jersey: Chief Executive office- after his success to eliminate the toilet papers from the city offices; who can compete with that.

Hassan Nasrala-aka Rasputin: Chief Operating Officer- Do you blame them, he, in 2006, had Beirut burned run for its life

The host country head of the Iraqi donkeys association was elected director of recruitment; after all, he assembled all these geniuses.

Ahmadinejad: director of propaganda, who can beat him in this (no longer president, Hasan Rouhani replaced him both here and in Iran)

And the story continues; this is just the first chapter….

PS: I should not have announced this article on Facebook before actually publishing it, I got an email while writing from the Iraqi Donkeys Association chairman inviting me to cover the event or be on a video conference, and it seems that they appreciate my efforts to spread the hee-haw all over the world. I responded and I said how could I address such dignitaries, I am just a commoner. He responded back and said what about an honorary membership, I said thanks; I appreciate the gesture!

Updates 08/08/2010:

New board members:

1-Chavez: president of Venezuela...ongoing stupidity regarding attacking the US, nationalizing foreign investments, making his oil rich country an outlaw country, fighting with neighbors specially Colombia for n reason. (Chavez died and was replaced by worse-Maduro who is one of the top donkeys in the world of politics today.

2-Zardari: President of Pakistan: on an international Tour while his country is drowning under floods. (no longer president)

3-Abed Atwan, owner of Al-Quds Al-Arabi, an Arabic London based newspaper. Ongoing articles about the Middle East that show demagoguery beyond belief, expert in twisting the news and put a spin on everything that defies reality.

4-Dr. Laura Schlessinger, a famed psychiatrist turned a Jenny. Kept using the N-word, a degrading racial slur, on a radio show while talking to an African-American listener. She did it in a way that only a 'Jenny' would do.

5- Osama Saraya, The Egyptian daily newspaper Al-Ahram, editor in chief, who altered the picture of President Mubarak to make him look walking in the front, in the White House gathering of the Middle Eastern leaders prior to the resumption of the negotiations, rather than in the back as the actual picture showed. He admits and says that he did it as an Expressive picture to show Egypt's leading role in the resumption of the negotiations in The Middle East. (no more editor)

6- Sarah Palin, a US presidential wanna be, a loser as vice president nominee in the 2008 elections with the republican nominee John McCain. Used terms that are controversial to describe her critics, last but not least was her usage of “Blood Libel” to describe her critics who accused her that he political rhetoric has incited criminals like that one who did the random shooting in Arizona, which killed and injured many people including a congresswoman Giffords.

7- Donald Trump: For repeating efforts to make a jackass of himself. He has been relentless in pushing to join the group, and finally he got it. Trump earned the "honorific" for keep questioning President Obama credentials as a an American citizen. (Trump was elected President of the United States in November 2017)

Chapter II:

1- All the selected members must be alive, the board cannot make fun of the dead, and it would be disrespectful. Yes, the Iraqi Donkeys Association can behave better than some humans can sometimes.

2- Terrorists and killers are not included-while Nasrala qualifies as a killer her but he is a part of a game of politics in the Middle East. The Donkeys Association cannot have under its name, low life killers.

3-The board applies only to those who hold public office or public figures; regular, private citizens, friends, family, Facebook members and no social participants will ever be subject to such thing.

(Edited and updated as much as possible) 

*Lebanon Summer 2010... by Jamil Shawwa

Lebanon since its creation and independence has had a shadowy government; a militia on the side that sometimes was more powerful than the state itself.

In the 50s, it was the Syrian National Party, in the late 60s and 70s it was the PLO, in the 80s and until now the Shiite’s Iranian backed and creation Hezbolla,

The situation throughout these decades has been very fragile and always resulted in clashes and the worst started in 1975 and ended formally in 1990 with Al-Taef agreement in Saudi Arabia. The problem in that agreement is that it recognized a special status for this Hezbolla as a resistance power and to whom; you guessed it, to the usual excuse- the Arabs use, for all their deficiencies- Israel.

While Israel withdrew from Lebanon, Hezbolla is still there, not only that but in 2006, Hezbollah triggered a war when its operatives abducted two Israeli soldiers on the border in South Lebanon. The situation now cannot be sustainable, I mean, it is just not normal, and it has been not normal in Lebanon for almost, as I mentioned earlier, sixty years.

The reason for this update is the calls in Lebanon right now to evaluate the destructive role of Hezbollah and turning  it into a regular political party rather than a mafia that terrorize the Lebanese people on a daily basis.

We also have the special international court that is investigating the assassination of the late former Lebanese prime minister Rafik El-Hariri in 2005 and the father of the current prime minister Saad El-Hariri expected decision to indict individuals that belong to Syrian intelligence, Lebanese internal security and Hezbollah in that assassination.

Hezbolla threatened that in the case of such indictment that they might move militarily against their own country. What next, anything, we could see another civil war, or we could see the end of Hezbolla or the end of both; Lebanon as we know it and Hezbolla as we do not want to know and want to erase from our memories as the rest of these groups that their job was and is to just distract and destruct.

Concepts and Cultures IV: Buddha for Business and Buddha for Worship….by Jamil Shawwa

The Vietnamese waitress caught me staring at a statue for Buddha on the floor with candles and platter of fresh mangos in front of it so she volunteered to say before I opened my mouth that this food is for the gods. She said that knowing you all this time, I knew that you would not leave this thing alone without your usual curiosity. She continued to say that she has been counting how many days until I would say something. She did not give me a chance to respond and kept going as if she was on a mission to explain, she was doing it with pride, and her eyes had a sparkle in them as she was talking. She said that it is ok to put that one on the floor as it is Buddha for the business, to bring good luck to the business and then she pointed out to another Buddha- it looked more dignified- on top of a shelf and she said that one stays up as it is for worship. I showed my admiration to the education. I asked her about the fruits in front of the statue and who is going to eat them and she said that they will eat the fruits, of course! She said that when they bring new fruits, they eat the old ones, so they keep placing the food and taking it from Buddha’s front. She got warmed up on her religious beliefs and said that the Vietnamese burn fake money when their beloved ones pass as they might need this money to buy things in the other life that they are going to, my waitress believes that you need money wherever you go. Again, I expressed my gratitude to this information that I found very interesting. When she asked me about what I think, I politely thanked her and told her that I do not have any comments. It is not my place to express opinions on others beliefs; my place is just to learn, appreciate and be thankful that someone took the time to explain and teach.

The Midnight Love Express, part II by Jamil Shawwa

He stirred emotions in her that she thought that she suppressed,


She started to feel her feminine side that she forgot,


She started to feel her body that she neglected,


She is noticing parts that she thought no longer exist,


She is in love but she will never tell,


She is so proud, so stubborn, so engraved in her ways that she will never give up,

She is so used to her comfort zone that she well never admit.

The Obama Midterm Review...by Jamil Shawwa

Congress passed the Wall Street/Financial Reform bill that the president will sign into law. It is a comprehensive financial package which main purpose is to prevent the sharp fluctuations that lead to the collapse of markets in the past three years; the collapse- in fact- started in the summer of 2007. Previously, Congress passed and the president signed into law the economic recovery package and the health reform bill that ensures coverage for all Americans. Obama is also handling BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Internationally, the president is managing the North Korean nuclear issues, and Iran nuclear threat. He is moving towards stabilizing the situation in both Iraq and Afghanistan; just appointed a new commander for Afghanistan operations and his replacement for the Middle East. As for the Israeli/Palestinian question, Obama is handling as his predecessors did –carefully- the establishment of a Palestinian State in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, side by side the State of Israel. Having said the above as a summary of what Obama has been doing in the past first two years of his presidency, the picture on the ground is different, Every political expert, pundits, every report, even the White House spokesman is pointing out to a big defeat, at least on the House side of Congress, for the president party, the Democrats, in the upcoming midterm election for Congress in November. I am not an expert, but I am shocked as an American at Team Obama, the White House staff, the experts that helped engineering Obama’s historic victory in 2008. Why the polls are showing low rating for the president, why are we not feeling his success and his achievements in such a short time. Historically, the democrats have been put into tests more than the republicans and historically the American people though electing democratic presidents did not really fell in love with them, so Obama here is not an exception, but the president has another burden that no other president ever had to “endure”, he is an African American so it is double jeopardy for him. Any time we elect a democrat president we tell this president, we elect you, now do miracles, fix everything and then once it is fixed we go back to our republicans who will spoil things financially and then we start over again by electing a democrat to fix. As for the republicans, we, it seems, do not expect much from them, we elect them whenever we need to reduce taxes, that the democrats invoked on us or when we feel that we need a hawk in the White House to take care of evil all over the world. We trust the democrats internally and we trust the republicans externally, outside the United States. In 2008, the American people were very excited to see Obama but in the same time the country was in deep financial troubles, housing markets collapsed, unemployment rising, and the Credit markets disappearing, the Iraq and Afghanistan wars were not really moving in the right direction, the Middle East stalling, but mainly the internal front and not outside the US that was relevant I might say in the election of Obama. In few words, the picture was bleak. We have been excited about his arrival to the presidency more than we have been in generations and we looked at him as the great savior, imagine, what a burden. Therefore, the bottom line here is that we are very hopeful to have Obama as our president but in the same time, we are telling the president, your burden of proof is higher; the bar is higher for you. Yes, we elected you, but you have to prove yourself everyday that you are up to the responsibility. If we look objectively at the competition, you can very well see that no one so far stands out as a real Competitor to Barack Obama on either side of the Aisle, Democrats or Republicans. Let us for a moment examine the evidence here; on the republican side the only stars, if I can use this term, is Sara Palin, the Tea Party group and some extreme radio and TV commentators, in other words, pinheads, enough said, No brainer, no doubt about it. No program, no traction with the real issues. Obama is confronting serious problems, he is digging deep into America's soil, and in the process of cleaning and reforming, he is getting much dirt thrown at him, and he just needs to keep going; President Obama has no choice but to keep going forward, if he gets angry, they will point and say, look, it is because of who he is, if he keeps blaming Bush for the economy, they will say, look he is not up to the job. If he ever looks in the mirror and say, wow, I'm an African American and I'm the first president and I made history and people for that fact have to elect me again or have to forgive me or have to say let us give him another chance, if he ever does any of the those things I mentioned, then the president will not be reelected in 2012. Obama needs to do one thing, look forward, go back to the tone of 2008 that elected him as president, continue to motivate and inspire the American people. So far, the choice is clear, to me at least, but he must go out, he must campaign relentlessly from now, and he must show how he is succeeding. As the president of the United States, he must be the master salesman of all.

*FIFA South Africa........... by Jamil Shawwa

The first time I watched- rather comprehended what was going on-  was the world cup in 1974 and it was both Germany and Holland-The Netherlands- that captured the lights and the attention- It is amazing how certain things stick in mind, like the first game you watch, or the first book you read or the first girl you love or think you love until the next one comes along or until the girl you really love comes along, It seems that love has to present itself in every conversation- It was also the temporary end of Brazil’s rein over the cup during Pele, Brazil legendary player.

Brazil won the 1970 cup, Pele retired after that game, and Brazil played in 1974 and lost. The final game was between Holland lead by Johan Cruyff and West Germany- as it used to be called at the time- lead by Franz Beckenbauer. West Germany won after an exciting game.

This year we had Spain and The Netherlands- Holland- competing over the most important sports title on earth and Spain won. It was historic for couple of reasons, it was the first time that both finalists’ teams have never won it before and it was played and organized by an African country, South Africa. The organization was fantastic, and the host country was so gracious and luckily, it took place while South Africa historic leader Nelson Mandela is alive.

In reviewing the winners and the losers, the criteria was based on patterns and performance. For example, Argentina to me was one of the biggest if not the biggest loser for a simple reason, when you go on a winning streak and all of a sudden, you lose 4-1 as they did to Germany in the Semi final, then there must be something structurally wrong. Brazil on the other hand was not a big loser per say although it did lose and did not continue beyond the 16th round but it's performance was mediocre all along, so no surprises.

The US continued its pattern of reaching the second round and leave so it is not a loser. As for Germany -the contender always to win the cup- it had a predictable and normal pattern of performance, won most games, lost to Serbia in the first round, and again to Spain but continued and got the third place. Spain and The Netherlands had also a predictable pattern although no one including all the experts expected them to reach the final game.

People watched and put politics aside-maybe- and just enjoyed the sportsmanship of the game, the clean competition- some were not but still- and the winner Spain who in this year also won the Cup of Europe and its teams Real Madrid and Barcelona have been among of the best in the world for generations. Nevertheless, Spain never won a world cup until this year.

Netherlands is the same although it had other opportunities to reach the final game and stopped short from winning. Yesterday, The Netherlands did not need to give us any excuse for not winning nor did it have our sympathy; Spain had exceptional performance in both sportsmanship and delivery. Spain was the better team in the final game all along; they deserved it fair and square. Netherlands needs to lick its wounds, review itself, and reform its behavior. You do not have to be very aggressive to win. But you always have to be very skilful to win.

That was the story of the Netherlands today and the story of Spain the winner of the South Africa 2010 world cup. Football as all competitive sports is about manners and sportsmanship but it is also about winning. Africa right now is on the map as maybe every country that played in the finals and maybe every country on earth, Technology more than ever made it possible for every human being on earth – if they choose to- to watch the game, hear about it or be part of the celebration. People through different social engines on the internet were connected in a way that has never existed before with live conversations around the globe about the final game and every game.

We  were experts as usual, we all had opinions, and we all posted and talked about it. What a celebration of human connectivity it was.



*Trademark of: Fédération Internationale de Football Association

The International Federation of Football.

*Divorce Socrates Wife, Part II: Husband and Wife... by Jamil Shawwa

Wife: I had the best vacation since we got married


Husband: I am glad that you did, I wish I were there with you.


Wife: question asked, question answered.


Husband: I see; vacation was nice because I was not part of it


Wife: well, you have a very demanding life style, a routine, and a system, who can handle such things.


Husband: a loving wife, maybe. If love was there, anything could be handled


Wife: you do not need a wife; you need a robot, someone with no feelings


Husband: I disagree; I need a woman that can understand, a woman that has grace, a woman that can appreciate


Wife: appreciate what? Not sure what to appreciate. But let us pass on that last note, and go back to your statement, of I need, what about me, I need all the above and do not have them in you


Husband: I agree, it is mutual, and I meant it that way, the things I mentioned should be mutual and should be demanded by the husband and wife.


Wife: there is no meeting of the minds, and there is no meeting of the hearts


Husband: I said that before in many writings, the meeting of the mind, the thought must be in first before the hearts and the bodies can meet.


Wife: what are you looking for, a new wife, go ahead, be my guest, I can find one for you if you like.


Husband: no thanks, I appreciate your gesture and you kindness, but there is no way that I would repeat the same mistake twice, first, marrying you and now asking you to find me a new wife; it would be as if I will be marrying you all over, again.






*Disclaimer: any resemblance with any real life experience is just a coincidence; for entertainment purposes only.

America and Rania 07/04/2010.... By Jamil Shawwa

Today, 07/04/2010, Rania turns eight years old, and America turns two hundred and thirty four years young, what do they have in common,

You both are young in age and in spirit

You both are looking to the future

You both are strong and stubborn

You both are resolved and resilient

You both are kind and generous

You both like to be treated well

You do not tolerate injustice, the way you both see it

You like to play fair, though sometimes you like to make sure that you are well heard and listened to

America at two hundred and thirty four years young is looking forward, America does not look back, America still likes to learn; It prefers humility with strength over pride with weakness.

America knows that peace cannot be protected with well wishes only, it knows that to spread peace, you need to make sure that you are watching your surroundings as a hawk, as it's symbol, the bald eagle.

America is for all and it consists of all, so there is no way for anyone or anybody or any creed or religion to claim exclusivity over America; it does not exist.

Some call America the melting pot and some call it the salad ball, different stuff, colors, shapes in one ball, area, or country. I just call it the good old USA.

In protecting itself, America protects the world, and in what might seems and looks as selfishness to its people or over protecting its people, is actually the ultimate generosity, America does not discriminate between domestic and foreign, a peaceful Japan, or Korea, or Nigeria, or Israel or Palestine, or England is a peaceful United States.

America invented the modern business practices, it reinvented the modern diplomacy and it created new meanings to the word empire or the sole superpower on earth. America does not colonize, it does not occupy, and America wants the people of other countries to run their affairs. America believes truly in win- win situations in business and politics, it does not believe in win- lose, because America knows that it's ultimate interest is to have winners around it, to be surrounded with prosperous nations and countries. See the genius, if you are prosper, then I am prosper, if you are rich, then you will enrich me; it is the supreme rule that will continue to carry America through future generations and generations as the sole super power.

Happy birthday America, today is your day and tomorrow too...

Company’s Conference...by Jamil Shawwa

It is very early in the morning, around 6:30 AM, employees of the company from different locations and operations are starting to arrive at the conference location resided in a hotel adjacent to a university. The conference itself will not start until 9:00 AM but with traffic anticipation, it is better to arrive a little or too early rather than arriving late; you might miss the continental breakfast, Translation: Tea, Coffee, Juices, Croissant and pastries. The first thing after the arrival was to locate the entrance, then the room itself then the other related objects that are necessary to make the conference successful i.e.: restrooms, smoking section, etc after that think of planning the way back after the conference ends, you know, you have to think out of the box and of the traffic around the nations’ capital. In the midst of all these planning, the conference reason might become irrelevant, at least to most of the participants, they are just excited to get away from the office and have free beverages, breakfast and lunch, these conferences happen just once or twice a year, so you have to take advantage here of the seasonal corporate generosity. The attendant or the receptionist who has been doing the same exciting and challenging job for over twenty yeas -preparing the name tags, setting up the tables with the appropriate numbers, making sure that each table has water, glasses, pads and pens for those that pretend that they are actively participating and taking notes, was there trying to smile and laugh at jokes made by smart people trying to be very funny at that very early hour in the morning, already prepared the name tags, you pick yours, make sure that your name is spelled correctly, as a matter of fact, it is just psychological, even if your name is spelled wrong, it is too late to correct. Once you are done with your nametag, and placing it usually on the upper left corner of your blazer, it is business casual, no need for a tie, though some wore them, as for the female participants, mostly trousers and jackets, not many skirts today. Inside the conference room, there are twelve tables with eight seats at each one, and your tag has a number as well as your name so you know where to set, you cannot change tables if you see an exciting woman setting at a table that is not yours and you cannot throw a smart remark here or there, you have to act professionally even if you are not and pretend that you are serious and composed. The conference is starting to take place, the tables are getting filled, people saying hello to those that they know or they do not know, remember, everyone should act friendly, you cannot set alone and frown, they might think that you are not a team player, Translation: put-up with the silly stuff and pretend that you care about others and that you prefer the team over yourself- tall order here- otherwise some might think that you are politically incorrect or the worst, mentally challenged. The top executives are on table twelve, notice not table one, they arrived with their laptops, sat down, opened their laptops, their Black Berry, and acted as if they were dragged to be here and not to be bothered at least not until the conference starts, and then they can put on their motivating hats and play the game. The humming and the chatting is all over and all of sudden, number two started to talk, an introduction as why is the meeting taking place and you start hearing the clichés, new terms in the corporate words; moving the needle, do not drop the ball- Translation: the first, do above and beyond, the second, take responsibility. Might consider the other guy, Translation: the competition. Do not focus on the price, Translation: sell the company and the products. Wrap it up, Translation: not sure, but you cannot interrupt. He then introduced the big one, the top executive who before the introduction has left his seat at that famous number 12, and went at the end of the room, where I was seated- usually, my table is at the far end of the room, I have a nice view though- the big one comes running, as soon as the introduction is made, from the end to the front as if someone is after him with a stick, and he starts looking, surveying the place not believing that he has hired all these people, Translation: losers, those employees, looking at their watches and wondering what is it for lunch. Anyway, the big one starts to talk about the bigger picture, see, number two talked about the big one, but number one talks about the bigger ones. As you reach higher position, your talk focuses on big stuff and not small stuff that are left for people like me for example. The higher you are the closer you get to the sky and the smaller things look to you. Once you are on top, you really cannot see anybody but yourself, you are kind of above the clouds. So usually, the conference starts on earth and ends up on earth and the skies are in between the start and the end. The big one also has to come up with his own words of wisdom, he cannot leave the stage wide open to number two so he also starts talking about how it is all about people, Translation: the little people. And that you- the small guys- are the engine that runs the company, translation: you are nobody. That if change to be made, it has to be made by you and no one else, Translation: again, you are nobody, do not fool yourself or/and we will fire a bunch of you soon, so I am giving you a heads- up. He then got warmed up and started to critique the operations and how we are like little islands- he is correct here- that we do not talk to each other and that has to be changed, not sure when though. Once he warmed up completely, he started rolling by saying; you are the first line of defense, Translation: again, you are nobody. Keep the momentum going, Translation: otherwise, you will be fired. All sounded perfect, but what is it for lunch, whispered one unmotivated and ungrateful participant. By the time the big one finished, he disappeared from the room and left it to number two who himself started to look hungry after that big motivating speech and was saved by the bill, when the clock hit 12:15 PM, Lunchtime. As all know, you need to organize lunch, that was maybe the most challenging part of this conference, how can you organize the people's movement towards the lunch buffet next door, the stampede started to happen, the huddle started to form, when all of a sudden, number two said that it all starts and ends here, Translation: company's success and not yours and the way we organize lunch lines, so we go to lunch but we must go by the order we are seated. Again, mine was the last table, and I had to wait.

The Midnight Love Express...Thoughts by Jamil Shawwa

She looked at him, raised her head with her hair covering part of her captivating eyes and said innocently or seemingly innocently... did you call on me, are you looking for me, I thought that I heard your voice.





He just looked back, he was looking all along, but pretending that he was busy doing something, he looked left and right up and down trying to escape but there is no way, he knows that he is powerless even if he tries,






She was still looking at him; and in what seemingly innocent eyes and in what seemingly innocent looks, lies beneath the ultimate female manipulation, the ultimate female naughtiness and the ultimate female heaven.






He cannot say one thing, he cannot open his mouth and he cannot tell her anything, he only owns one part of this conversation, he owns his part, or he thinks he does, he owns his ability to look and suffer in silence.










Her looks are those of the discoverer and the explorer and his are those of the hopelessly and forever romantic coming out of a Romeo and Juliette novel.

Talk With Israel… Do not Be Afraid….. by Jamil Shawwa

Dear Arab and Muslim countries,


I have a modest request, as an Arab American, and as a Muslim and as someone who was born in Beirut- my mother is Lebanese from a Lebanese family- and my family from my father’s side is from Gaza and lived in Gaza for years, I ask you to pick-up the phone, or text message or email your neighbors and friends in the State of Israel and just say hello!

To the leaders of the Arab countries and the Muslim countries, do the same, talk to Shimon Peres, Bibi Netanyahu and Ehud Barak and all the leaders in Israel.

To the Palestinians, they are doing it daily, but why not more, do the same. Egypt’s Mubarak is doing it as well as King Abdullah II of Jordan and many, many others that do not publicize.

To the State of Israel, I know how it feels sometimes to be alone, a state and country in the midst of the Arab and Muslim countries, but do the same if you can, pick up the phone, or email and suggest a conversation.

Talk in the area, in Tel-Aviv, Jerusalem, Cairo, Amman, Damascus, Baghdad, or Haifa- oh I love Haifa, the food there is amazing- no need to go anywhere else, your destiny is already written, and you will never be able to run from it, you are all there, The State of Israel, the State of Palestine and all the other countries in the Middle East.

Use civility and the power of reason, deliberation and mind to talk, discuss, and negotiate, nothing to lose and mountains to gain.

Talking is one thing, probably, that differentiate all of us from other God’s creatures, and we are blessed with the ability to talk if we choose to.

Talk on all levels, schools, sports, politics, just talk.

Pick up the phone, all of you, and dial the numbers, and if you do not have the numbers, just go ahead and Google them, just do something useful, different, if you have to, and productive today and not tomorrow. Do not wait, do not sneak around, do not pretend, and do not stab in the back. The power of conversation is the ultimate power, because it is endless, it cannot be stopped and it cannot be fought.

Thanks but No Thanks, Ardogan; Political Inferiority Complex, the Arabs, Turkey and Iran by Jamil Shawwa

The way the Arab world and some other countries are rallying to glorify the new and coming Turkish role in the Middle East reminded me of the old days of glorifying the defunct Soviet Union so claimed then support of the so called Arab causes; both are vain, unrealistic and disillusioned. The Turkish role might be emerging, and the Turkish past connection to the Arab world during the politically and socially retarded Ottoman Empire, might be bringing some nostalgia to those that feel so depressed about their internal affairs and themselves that they forgot over 600 years of the worst political system in history; the Turkish and Ottoman Occupation of the Middle East, that are just running toward Turley because it sent a little ship with some hotheaded persons trying to get into Gaza in a very immature way. To that extend the self-disrespect of the Arab countries and many Arabs, to that extend the desperation and the self-elusion, to that extend they surrendered the mind and the brain if they had any to such act. Same thing is happening with Iran, all these desperate movements that run to Iran hoping of the so-called great help or Iran would be the one that would restore the Arab and Muslim respect in the world, amazing to say the least. Iran is the last country that cares for the Arabs or the Muslims, that is the Arab Sunni Muslims, Iran through history never been in good terms with the Arabs and it will never be unless or until the political systems in both Iran and the Arab countries change to  democratic liberal systems. We are talking thousands of years for Iran and hundreds of years with Turkey. Therefore, what has changed to make the Arabs long back to the terrible years and centuries of both Iran and Turkey. The Turks and the Iranians did not change and the Arabs did not change. All is the same if you look closely, same pattern of resorting to someone else to talk on your behalf that has been the story of the Arabs through history, negotiating by proxy, talking by proxy. It is the same inferiority complex that stained the Arab countries and the Arab world, that they cannot deal with others directly or maybe they are so proud, actually so afraid, to deal with others, they do not want the mask to slip. It is a shame what I see right now, people glorifying the Turkish role, what Turkish role are you looking for, twenty two Arab countries cannot deal with each other and are afraid to deal with Israel that they look for couple of dusty old and defected empires, Iran and Turkey, to speak on their behalf. Same when the Arabs looked towards the Soviet Union, and got the biggest defeat in modern history, the Six Days War of 1967. Even internally, poor Arabs, In the 50s and the 60s looked at the biggest deceive and the biggest joke by the name of Gamal Abdel-Nasser who promised them the Promised Land and crushed their illusions in 1967. What is going on, why the self disrespect, people changing their names to Turkish names, running to Turkey like the lost in the desert dreaming of a drop of water. Wake up, deal with Israel directly; Egypt, Jordan and the Palestinian Authority gained tremendously when they followed the conventional wisdom of just talking. Today, the Turkish prime minster, said that Turkey wants to be to the Arab world as the Ottoman Empire was; thanks, but no thanks, Ardogan, do not try to compensate Turkey's inferiority complex towards Europe by looking East.

The Water, the Nile, and The next Negotiations... by Jamil Shawwa

The Middle East -when are we going to stop talking about it, probably never- is not only the land of the three divine religions, it is not only the land of oil and source of energy and life in the world now but also the land of water. As God, who sent the three prophets of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, with the three interconnected messages in that part of the world knew that his sons are naughty and that his sons are not in-line so he created all these things for all of them to share. It is the destiny of the Arab countries including the upcoming and new state of Palestine in the West Bank and the Gaza Strip and the State of Israel to continue to live in an internal state of negotiations and cooperation. The three divine religions were born there and that is it. All stop and start there. No way to run from it and no way, for any party to ignore the other, it is just not possible. In the same time, the cousins and the brothers cannot fight and if they fight, they will not win and if they win, then they will fight again. So why not take the short cut, the wise cut and set together. I love setting around, you can learn from me. Israel, Palestine, Jordan, Syria, Lebanon and Egypt have water issues, and have challenges that they have to meet soon to ensure a normal flow of supplies and to ensure taking advantage of the water resources that exist in these countries and around including Turkey to both Syria and Iraq; it is amazing if they just share, no one will ever be thirsty again, no drought, nothing, just prosperity for all. We teach our kids to share from the start, we teach them to play together and though protecting their own things, they can still have other kids enjoy playing. The Dead Sea between Jordan and Israel is actually dying if not already started the process, other rivers, Elyarmouk, Ellitani, ElAsi, and then you have in Iraq the Euphrates, in Egypt the Nile. Now, I am practical, I am not a dreamer; maybe this is bad, but anyway, I see channels branching out and running from rivers between Israel, Jordan- oh, I forgot the Jordan River, Palestine, Syria and Lebanon. I see those countries setting together, on the experts’ level, I do not want to see politicians ruining everything- at least not in the start, they can screw up later as they usually do, and just talk scientifically and fairly on how we can create win- win situations that will benefit all. Now, you have to talk, there is no other way. Egypt- read further on how it is more involved- is another story, as it does not deal for water directly with any other country in the Middle East, except for Sudan that it shares the Nile River. The river Nile comes from Uganda and through Ethiopia to Sudan and Egypt. There are agreements that give Egypt its share as it is with Sudan the best and the most important clients of the river. The African countries involved are looking to establish their own Dams on the river to benefit. Now, the approach should be not to accuse, and charge the emotions but talk sensibly, though not easy in the Middle East, where the word hypocrisy was created and invented. As for the Nile and the looming conflict looking between Egypt, Sudan and other countries that the Nile runs through, as I mentioned above, let the countries meet on the technical level and talk with an open mind. Egypt is a pioneer in negotiations and Egypt is the pioneer with Israel about much bigger issue, which is the Arab Israeli peace process. Egypt as well can share the Nile to supply Israel, Palestine, Jordan and even parts of Saudi Arabia with fresh water. Now, of course, I am talking general here but it is for the technical experts to make things happen and it could happen based on various analyses. Water as many experts believe might the next big one in the Middle East, and you as a country cannot be stubborn or talk about certain privileges or state things from just a very narrow angle, you must take into account the evolving needs of the other concerned countries and see how you can get a win-win situation, it is not difficult. The negotiations with the State of Israel, the new State of Palestine and countries such as Jordan and Syria will be over water resources as well. The water is there, the technical expertise is there, the talents are there, all you need to do is set and talk, period. Read related articles about the business peace of the Middle East and the art that I wish I were clever at, Negotiations.


Read my pieces on negotiations and the business peace of the Middle East:

http://arabamericanwire.blogspot.com/2005/10/business-peace-of-middle-east.html
http://arabamericanwire.blogspot.com/2010/02/negotiationsby-jamil-shawwa.html

Maps: Source: MidEastWeb and WikipediA
Map below in green for Lake Victoria, the main or one of two sources for the Nile River

Mosaic.... by Jamil Shawwa

* I have compiled a bouquet of my comments and opinions of discussions that I had with different friends on Facebook and from http://arabamericanwire.blogspot.com/  in this portrait of thoughts I call Mosaic.


النقاب On Elniqab- Veil- It Should be banned, it is not normal, not human. Now freedom of religion might require that we respect the rights of those wearing it however, when you cover your face, you are covering your identity, yourself, you are afraid, you are surrendering your rights, you are telling the society that I'm not part of you and I do not want you to see me but I want to see you. In my book, this is the ultimate selfishness. Another angle is whither these women are free or forced to wear it. A woman’s face is a gift from God; no human should delete it.

Root of the issue and wither it is relevant:


The reason, the premise and the intent do not and should not apply here; the action speaks volumes. The question is do we or we do not agree with such behavior, and if we agree to let these women cover their faces in free societies or even not so free societies, do or are we supposed to allow for example women, locals or visitors, to walk the streets of Cairo, Amman, and Riyadh warning Hiphugger and underwear only- I understand that this is unacceptable to both women and men, but I’m just making a point. See, the argument can go both ways. Elniqab can be considered an unacceptable behavior and it could be considered against public manners as same as going out in the streets wearing just underwear.


Comment on news that little girls are forced to wear elhijab-headcover- in some government schools in Egypt:

If this news is true, then I have a bigger problem with Egypt than the problems that I have mentioned before. If this is true, then I will go as far as accusing the political system in Egypt of complete weakness and despair. No respected country on earth would allow such things that are outside the system or not authorized. The minister of Education, instead of fining the garbage people or the cleaning people for not collecting papers from the schoolyard, should refer these teachers to investigation immediately. The Arab World is famous of hypocrisy, poor the new generations; I really feel the pain of these innocent creatures. If I were a practicing lawyer in Egypt, I would have filed a lawsuit now against the education minister and subpoenaed him to court to tell us what is going on.

On an administrative court decision in Egypt to ban marriage between Israelis and Egyptians:

Jamil's Comments: The Supreme Administrative Court" of Egypt approves or upholds a lawsuit that was brought before the court by a deranged lawyer to withdraw the citizenship of those Egyptians that marry Israeli women and that the government of Egypt-imagine the retardation- has to approve each case of marriage on a case by case basis case. What else shall I say except for the feeling of sorrow to the status of ignorance and complete and utter blindness to any logic or sense. I have no doubt that Egypt which lead and still lead the Arab and Muslim worlds towards the historic peace and reconciliation with Israel will soon wake up again. Egypt is going through hard Labour in the last fading years of President Mubarak. The Egyptians are confused, lost, they do not know what to do and who they are any more. Still, Egypt has the talents and the history on its side to correct and advance.


On Marriage and Divorce:

Marriage is good of course but if it does not work, then divorce is good too.

People missing with the Original Teachings and the original scripts of the three divine religions:

Some say that if people miss with the original scripts, then this could affect the religions themselves.
Jamil comments: if billions miss with the original recipes that does not take anything away from the original messages. The original is well known and preserved, the fake, the modified, and the tainted, are as well all over. Now, the choice, if you choose to do so, is yours, either you follow the original or the fake or the modified or you do not follow anything at all. It is not for me or any other human to tell another human what they should do, or whom they should believe.
Now, if I were running for a political office, then we would have another story

On garbage piling in the streets of some countries:

The problem is not with the garbage, or the companies or the recycling, the problem is in the people who cause the piles of garbage. The humans feel that their country, their streets, is a big garbage can. Reform the people, and those countries will be clean.

On the nationalization of the press in Egypt and the quality of the government run papers in the Arab world.

Since the nationalization- Eltameem- of the press in 1964, the late Egyptian president Abdel-Nasser nationalized Egypt's spirit and mind as he did to the whole Arab world.

On communications between Israel and Palestine:

One- The Palestinians need to continue to work closely with their Israelis counterparts to slowly buildup the economy of the new Palestinian state in the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. The voices of reason are working well. The Palestinians must remember and I think they do that their livelihood depends on mutual respect and good and cooperative relationship with the State of Israel.

Two- The two factions Hamas, and Fateh, though Fateh is the Palestinian Authority, want to punish journalists for meeting with their neighbors in Israel to discuss matters of mutual interests. Well, the Palestinian Authority president meets with his ...Israeli counterparts; the Egyptian president does the same and the king of Jordan. Why these leaders can meet with their Israeli counterparts and other layers of the society cannot. Is it because the Arabs say no to normalization until final solution is reached. I say break the barriers, meet with your neighbors in the State of Israel, and if anyone protests, tell them, Tough.

On Hamas:

The players need to find a way to bring Hamas to the table, I think. Like it or not, some sort of coordination has to take place there. But again, we are talking about the Middle East, the holy land, the land of the three divine religions and the ultimate land for the ultimate historic compromise and agreement among the sons of Abraham, Ibrahim.

On Iran:

One-It is very interesting to analyze Iran, not sure what to say. I know one thing, I think Iran is an annoying little bully, who got spoiled, as I said before here, who got used to the attention, who thinks that it is smart, maybe Iran is, who Am I to pretend that I know anything about world politics. I wrote few pieces on Iran on http://arabamericanwire.blogspot.com/ check them out when you have a chance.
Two- The Iranian president: This demagogue needs to focus on creating the environment for the people of Iran to thrive. Iran, what a great history, geography, oil, wealth, and rich culture has been for generations under rulers who never connected to the people, The Shah and then this group of cartoon religious scholars. Both The Pahlavi family an...d the current regime really have just made Iran the country it is now; an outlaw nation, a corrupt society with no respect. Read few pieces I wrote about Iran.
http://arabamericanwire.blogspot.com/2009/06/rise-and-shine-and-revolt-iran-by-jamil.html   http://arabamericanwire.blogspot.com/2007/03/iran-hostage-diplomacy.html

On the Turkish Ship going to Gaza:

If I were Turkey, I would have asked Hamas, to open a dialogue with it’s neighbor, the State of Israel, and I would have asked Hamas to recognize Israel as it actually does by the fact that it participated in the political process that resulted from the Oslo agreements and it participated in the elections under the auspices of the Palestinian Authority that recognized Israel and established normal relations with it and itself, the Authority, is the product of the Oslo agreements.
If I were Turkey, I would not have sent a ship in the pirate manners trying to put another country on the spot.
If I were Turkey and it has relations with Israel, I would have coordinated some sort of a humanitarian symbolic gesture.
Read the whole thing, again, if needed on: http://arabamericanwire.blogspot.com/2010/06/if-i-wereby-jamil-shawwa.html

Afternoon thoughts:

She was setting next to him, a butterfly in a ponytail. He was staring, she was ignoring, and all of a sudden, she turned around, looked at him, and ...coughed. Pathetic, maybe, it depends on how you look at things.

On Angels:

You can be an angel and cry, but to be an angel, you also have to smile.

On being madly in Love:

As long as it is both ways, otherwise, it would be really ...out there :)))


Last but not least, on America:

One-The great thing about America is we confront things, we do not run away from realities, we do not fool ourselves, and we continue to find ways and means to correct things. This test has been on going on and off for generations. The way this child felt- preferring lighter color toys over darker ones- does not exist only here in the US but almost anywhere in the world. As the world evolves, behaviors and concepts will continue to evolve, and stereotypes and prejudices will at some point be less obvious or less mentioned as they are now. The media- showing great examples across the board, the family- race really should be irrelevant and the school- does not stereotype kids, or in the name of diversity make kids so self- conscious about their differences, have the biggest burden in leading the transformation. Read my pieces on race: http://arabamericanwire.blogspot.com/2010/02/americas-obsession-with-colorby-jamil.html
http://arabamericanwire.blogspot.com/2010/05/visit-to-southby-jamil-shawwa.html  http://arabamericanwire.blogspot.com/ 
Two-This is America-Rescuing an American teenager in high seas - its hands can reach its people anywhere in the world. This is the country that you call your country, when its citizens are protected wherever they go, when they know that there is something strong and solid that they can lean on, talk to, and have their voice heard. Any country to its people should be... the same, each individual, no matter who he or she is, must feel important, protected and heard. Of course, if you are so reckless, then this is another story, your country still will protect you but then a lesson and procedures must be taken to ensure the safety and the common sense of those that are either underage or very reckless and so adventurous.
Three-Only in America, a theme we hear repeatedly, and it is true. In some countries and cultures when people get rich and famous, they try to pretend that they were never anything but rich. In America, there is pride in showing the road less traveled, the hard work, the modest beginning, the poverty-sometimes, that was, when becoming rich and accomplished.

Jamil


* with some modifications here and there.

If I were Turkey..........by Jamil Shawwa

If I were Turkey, I would not have sent that ship to start with, and if I decided to send it, I would have coordinated with Israel.


If I were Turkey, I would have asked Hamas, to open a dialogue with its neighbor, the State of Israel, and I would have asked Hamas to recognize Israel as it actually does by the fact that it participated in the political process that resulted from the Oslo agreements and it participated in the elections under the auspices of the Palestinian Authority that recognized Israel and established normal relations with it and itself, the Authority, is the product of the Oslo agreements.

If I were Turkey, I would not have sent a ship in the pirate manners trying to put another country on the spot.

If I were Turkey and it has relations with Israel, I would have coordinated some sort of a humanitarian symbolic gesture.

If I were Hamas, I would have released the kidnapped Israeli soldier; I would have stopped and seized all terrorists’ activities and suicide bombing once and for all. I would have stopped the brain washing of the desperate and the innocent, I would have stopped coordinating with Iran, why Iran, not sure...

If I were the Palestinian Authority, I would have asked Turkey not to send the ship, or coordinate a trio, Israel, Palestine and Turkey and put the pressure not on Israel but on Hamas, My God, people, Israel withdrew from Gaza, and Hamas is the occupier now and not Israel.

This insane action is making Israel think ten thousand times before completing the withdrawal from the West Bank. Maybe I am ignorant; maybe this is what Hamas, Iran, Hezbolla and the rest of those who help them want or do not want, maybe they do not want to see a Palestinian State in the West Bank and Gaza. Democracy and peace blind them, eliminate the purpose of their existence. Ok, finally, I may have got it.

If I were the Arab countries, I would have advised Turkey to coordinate with Egypt and Jordan, which have diplomatic relations with Israel.

If I were the State of Israel, I would have warned clearly that I will not allow the ship to cross the waters, I think Israel did that but the message might have been lost in the midst of this craziness from the fanatics and the opportunists in the Middle East whom caused this incident to happen and caused the loss of lives.

Israel is not to blame here; it is the same people, the same countries, the same mentality that caused the Arabs to continue to be defeated for the past 60 years. The mentality of hypocrisy and self-elusion, and arrogance.

The strong do not try to trespass, rent a ship and try to cross into another country with no permission, the strong do not kill innocent people, do not send suicide bombers, do not burn flags, do not step on flags of other countries, do not open the radio high on all these meaningless patriotic songs that would charge the emotions and kill the mind.

The strong and the confident talk, discuss, negotiate, and confront using all the legal and diplomatic means. The weak are those who sneak, smuggle, and kill.

That ship marked the ultimate humiliation for Turkey and for those who participated. I am very disappointed in Turkey; I thought its democracy could be an example for the Arab countries that might be ready to open up their political systems to religious parties that call for secular political and social systems.


There is only one-way to deal with Israel which is dialogue and -I thought that everyone has learned it by now- negotiations, dialogue, unless you are afraid.

Good bye my Dull, No good, Cheap, Chinese Resturant..... by Jamil Shawwa

The time has come-finally- for that place, one of my favorite hangouts to surrender to the forces of time, the economy and the improving taste of people, and declare that it cannot stay in business anymore. Actually, my cheap and dull Chinese restaurant was sold. The other day I went there around dinnertime, early dinner, and there it was, as usual, empty except for a table or two. The head waitress/manager was there, a very smart Chinese Vietnamese woman who is not the owner but related to the owners and has been running the place. The place was sad, and dull, of course, as I said earlier. The workers there told me that the place changed hands and that the previous owners can no longer afford to have it, I am not surprised, it was terrible, and that they sold it-poor new owners- to another family. The other server, originally Spanish, left the place after a fight with the cook in the kitchen where that cook lost his temper, and in the same day, he lost his job, and pushed her. That girl left the place after- as my Vietnamese head server told me-ten years of services. The only reason that I used to go to that place is that they allowed smoking- I mentioned it in another piece in this blog- but since Virginia banned smoking in restaurants, I stopped going there. See, if it was not for the smoking and the multiple free refills of soda, I really would not have gone even close to that place; the food was horrible, I mean the buffet, menu orders were a little better. That other day when I went, I ordered something and the wrong plate came, again no surprise, had to return it, got an apology but did not get a discount, see another reason that this restaurant is no good. Any way, that server told me that if the new owners do not treat her well that she will leave, of course, why stay. Sometimes you can read the writings on the wall, meaning that you can tell what will happen before it happens. The signs could be there, the warning signals could tell you not to do something or do something but we just do not look, do not want to look or maybe we are so arrogant that we choose to ignore those signs. For that restaurant, I knew that there is no way that it can stay in business with that cooking and cooks fighting in the kitchen and empty tables. I must say though and maybe that was another reason for me going there; the service has always been very gracious and welcoming- not generous though besides the fact of the multiple refills. One thing I like about America is that you can usually get multiple refills of coffee, soda, soft drinks, at almost any establishment. That is it for me this morning, nothing more to say.

A Scene From a Corner Table....Lunch Time In America...by Jamil Shawwa

It is lunchtime here in the US, around 12:00 PM. The place is one of the usual ones, my same table when I am eating alone, a table for two at the corner of the restaurant with a view to the whole place. I go there, the servers and the hostesses stopped even saying anything to me, I just go and set, sometimes it is not available, and I have to choose another, yet less strategic table. Lunch is a choice of either the buffet or A La Carte. I chose the cheapest, the buffet, though not necessarily or even not at all less quality. I situated myself, the waiter arrived with the Soda drink and a glass of water, I do not drink, otherwise, a very cold glass of Bear would have hit the spot today, but the Soda was nice, I am content. About 12 to 14 tables in the place with a divider or a big paravan that separates the place into two sections for those who require more privacy. The patrons are mostly from near by companies, the area is the hub and a suburban of Washington DC, about 6 miles south of the capital and about 4 miles north of my house.




Table one: must be Jamil... starting to move to the buffet and glancing around to survey the surroundings not for charming girls, there were none today, but for learning the eating patterns of the patrons... bad habit I have, snooping around to see what people eat and how they eat.







Table 2: a couple in the mid 40s probably married, they were eating but not talking, and they were not looking at each other.





Table three: a man and a woman, maybe co-workers-They work for the same office; I noticed the badges- talking about the new IPad while moving for a second round, it is all you can eat.







Table 4: group of mixed people, men and women talking business and new software that company is launching soon.







Table Five: politics-oh, thanks God, some people are making sense. The topic is the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Some where happy with Obama's handling and some compared him with George W. Bush and the handling of the Katrina hurricane few years ago- Meaning not happy with Obama.







Table Six: that was it for me, could not hear anything else except for moving lips and the noise of the forks and knives.







It is lunchtime in America. Between 12:00 PM and 1:30 PM, America moves in doves outside the offices, they go out, enjoy lunch, in restaurants, in bars, no drinks unless you were an executive and you do not mind; to fast food, anywhere but outside the office. Go to Washington DC, to the parks around the White House, the Potomac River, Georgetown and people are eating and talking. America likes its lunch and America actually likes its three meals. Once, years ago, a smart and very attractive waitress told me that the lunch usually for a table or a person does not exceed 45 minutes, and this is how restaurants usually calculate their turn around business and calculate the profit. They expect each table to finish the whole meal in 45 minutes. At that time, this did not make sense to me, and actually, I thought that she was trying to tell me to have some etiquette and not to stay long because she wants to have other customers using my table and a new tip rather than my usual 15% tip. Today, I looked and calculated the time for me and other tables and she was right, I personally did not need to use more than 45 minutes. I looked at my watch- the phone clock, my watch is broken- by the end of the meal and it was around that period. I am going to tell that waitress, she is still in business in one of the luxury hotels near by. I used to go there more often but our economy hit me as well as millions of Americans and many of us are happy-or have no choice but to be happy- with our reasonably priced yet tasty hangouts.

The Fountain of The Female Power.....by Jamil Shawwa

I am wondering here through the deepest waters of all, the unknown, the most dangerous area in the human psychic, the female power. I have to say and admit that I have never been more inspired than when in the company of female friends, companions and, believe it or not, the wife. The inspiration of course could be positive or negative but still an inspiration to do something or write. Millions and millions of people, thinkers, philosophers, Politicians, and even the worst forms of humans’ traffickers, pimps, through out history and until now and tomorrow have struggled to answer one question: where is the female power, where does it reside, where is the hub. What makes a female look so fatal that can make the strongest men succumb and surrender like babies in a candy store; maybe I just answered my question. Why women companionship to most men is the ultimate joy, and why some men if not most prefer a female conversation rather than a male, I understand the male and the female bondages but still when the female inters a room, the bondage- among men- disappears and the appeasement appears. Why do we stand before women speechless, why do we want to make them happy, and why we do not like to argue with them. The direct answer probably would be because ultimately the goal is the same, to conquer the unconquered, to reach the motherland, to land where everything is warm and friendly. Now, that was the obvious, that of course I will not deny or challenge, but there is more to the female than the obvious. Her strength comes from being a female, the opposite, maybe women apply the same logic here, but we are talking about the female power now. They say opposite attract, it is in everything, in physics, in the batteries when you put the positive and the negative, not that women and men either this one or that. The examples are abound and tremendous and overwhelming; the bottom line is that no one can really venture into this area except the female itself. The other day I was in a restaurant and I saw a mother giving her maybe six or seven years old daughter a twenty dollars note. The girl did not have any pockets so her mother asked but where are you going to put the money and the girl did not answer, she just reached to her shirt and tucked the money underneath. Amazing, I have seen women doing this all over the world; their safety net is their chest, or the top. I have seen it the Middle East where women would hide or keep their gold in their chests. However, how this seven years old girl knew where to keep the money, how did she know that this is the place to hide and keep; the answer is; it is natural to the female; she did not need to be taught. Her power is her body, and this is it, I think, women trust their bodies more than anything else does; it is their safety net, their intimate friend, their trusted companion.

The Muslim, Christian and Jewish Brotherhood... a view ...by Jamil Shawwa

For the strict purpose of this article, I am going to use two major powers- and then branch out- in the Middle East right now to make the point, The State of Israel and the Islamic Republic of Iran. See, from the names of these countries you probably would know what I am going to talk about. I agree with the title or the name of Israel and I do not agree with the name of Iran. I do not agree with countries adding a religion or nationality to their names. Now, Israel can -and I said before- explains or decides that it is a Jewish state and Iran if it changes its name can decide that it is an Islamic country- as long as it is not in the name itself and as long as the countries that put a description respect civil liberties. I know in Israel, you can be anything and still live your life normally; you can have a mosque, a church and a synagogue. In Iran it is not the same, women have to cover their hair, have to abide by certain restrictions and the country imposes its description or it's version of religion on its citizens and others, Israel does not.

Few days ago in a discussion, I said-concerning the Muslim Brotherhood organization- that the official number of its members if it exists does not mean much to show the real strength of the group. The strength of the Brotherhood stems from many factors. The main factor in my opinion is that they are banned, and this makes them look mysterious and make ordinary people intrigued by the fact that the state keeps cracking down on them. Based on media and public pulse reports, the group could win the parliamentary elections not only in Egypt but also in Jordan, Syria, and other Arab countries if it is conducted completely freely. I know this scares moderates, liberals, and conservatives who feel that the religion's place is not in politics, or who oppose the theological system of government. The Muslim Brotherhood and other religion based political parties can participate in elections but only if they adapt the following: They must respect and obey civil liberties and civic societies, must respect and obey the liberal constitutions. They must obey and respect the people’s will in not using violence and terrorism to achieve political gains. They can of course have their political agendas and political maneuvers but they must recognize the right of the State of Israel to exist side by side with the new State of Palestine. The problem is not the Muslim Brotherhoods; the root cause resides in the Arab regimes, they are not elected freely, and they do not have the legitimacy to govern. Another problem is the constitutions of many Arab countries, how can you ban the Muslim Brotherhood and other religion based political parties if the preamble of many Arab countries constitutions states that the region is the only source for legislation. Contradictions and hypocrisy, I think.

I just cannot see going back as countries and cultures to have theological states although we have been seeing and witnessing a strict or even fanatic interpretation of the three divine religions, Judaism, Christianity and Islam across the world. People are suffering from mental, spiritual vacuums, frustrations, disillusionment and financial distress. They are resorting to purity, spirituality that is found according to the minds of most humans in the holy books or faiths, in the beliefs. The different sects and interpretations within each faith still tear people apart. Religions in my thinking are personal, private, use them the way you want, cherish them, but to yourself and do not impose them. Go to your synagogue, to your church, to your mosque, to your temple, if you want but again do not force them. Mine is not better than yours and vice versa, should be the mantra. In Europe, there are political parties with a religion adjacent to its names, such as the Christian Democratic Party in Italy, but Italy is just Italy, not a theological state. The parties there though cherish the principles, do not impose them to change the state into a theological state. In the United States, we do not have parties with a religion name in particular but we have groups, such as the life groups that do not believe in abortion besides those who do not mind it. Fighting democratically for what you believe is fine, arguing, debating, deliberating, all are good as long as we stick to dialogues and not violence. Free societies usually do not strict political or religious parties from existence; you can have for example, a Jewish Brotherhood, or Christen Brotherhood or as in the Middle East right now and for generations the Muslim Brotherhood. I want to go further and say why not having all these organizations in the Middle East if someone or groups are interested. This is the point I want to make, if you allow a Muslim Brotherhood in the Middle East, then you cannot ban a Christen or Jewish Brotherhoods in the same place. The followers of the three religions exist and they have or should have the same rights. I really do not see a problem in naming a political party with a religion as long as this party respects the civil liberties and the civic and liberal societies that in my opinion the Middle East should be based on. The New Middle East, as I said before, will include both Israel and Palestine and will be based on civil liberties. Societies will evolve from using religions to attract or search for identity to have strong political processes based on the needs of the people and the changing times. Finally yet importantly, religions will always have tremendous force on its followers especially in a place like the Middle East, the birthplace of the three divine religions, but tolerance-probably- will prevail in general.

*State of Love V....He Is Not A Robot... by Jamil Shawwa

She: I am having mixed feelings, different thoughts. It seems that I like to contradict you in every occasion, maybe I am not interested anymore, maybe I am intimidated by you...

He: is it your time of the month?

She: stop this thing every time I express how I feel or open up to you and start saying what my mind try to keep.


He: sorry but I cannot endure this anymore, I have so far endured all kinds of experiments with you, I have survived the mental connection test, the mood swings, the ups and downs. Not sure what to do anymore. I do not want to be a lab mouse, a guinea pig for your eccentricities.

She: you are a quitter; you give up very easily. You do not feel for your love, you do not want to have it the hard way, you want to set in bed or watch TV and you want me in your lap. You are the best in cuddling, loving and caressing. You are an old fashion type of a man, an office type with a secretary or two- if you can afford them- you are a prince that thinks that he is a frog.


He: I'm not a robot, buy a machine with buttons so if you are in the mood for mental stimulation, you can just push a button, if you are in the mood for mind games, you can push another button, and if you want to make love, then, I guess, you can just push a third button. You are not looking for a human being. I am not a machine, I am not a robot, I am not going to set everyday and wait. I do not like scripts, never did, I do not like tests, never did. Maybe I might be a quitter, maybe I am a prince that thinks he is a frog, but I am not accepting the status quo, I am not surrendering, I will keep trying. I might be a quitter because I'm saying no to you, but in my mind, in my mind I'm  saying to you that I feel a winner tonight, never felt better than this moment, I'm free, again, so goodbye and all the best in your experiments.

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*Disclaimer:


For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance with any real life situations or people is just a mere coincidence. These conversations are not related to any specific person or persons. They are general human observations from life.

*A Visit To the South......by Jamil Shawwa

I live, and reside in the capital of the south, The Commonwealth of Virginia, so I am considered a southerner. I love the south; I think it has class, tradition, sometimes too much tradition. However, my southern style is combined with being adjacent to our nation's capital, Washington DC, so I am a southerner with a northern style; like both but happy to be closer to the north. The south of the United States is historically referred to those states that were hardheaded in regard to abolishing slavery, and that hot or hardheaded mentality lead to the civil war between the southern states I.e., Virginia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, etc and the north which represented The Unites States. The war ended-thanks God- with the south being defeated and the rebirth of this great nation, The USA. The southern states still with variations here and there cherish the memory of the civil war and in some pockets, some put the confederate flag- the symbol of the south during the civil war- side by side with the US flag. Having said that, America has come a long way since then, continued to grow, indulged and opened its borders to tens of millions of immigrants that made the US demography right now the country of all with no specific dominance of a particular ethnic group. I like southern food, mainly fried, sometimes too fried and greasy for my taste, but I like it. If you drive a little deeper into Virginia, 30 miles south and above from Washington DC, you will see the rural areas, the farms, the mountains and the more laid back people, the closer you get to DC, like any metropolitan area, the closer you get to the high rhythm of life, the traffics, the speed, and the hustle and bustle of the city. Today was the day for me to go to one of these country style southern eateries, I do not want to say restaurants, because really you feel as if you are going back in time when people used to put their horses out side these saloons or eateries. I went inside and was greeted with a nice little old lady, around 75 years young, and was seated. When I ordered Earl Grey Tea, the whole place looked at me, maybe because I was loud or something or maybe because they felt that this person does not belong here, he should have ordered an all-American coffee not tea. Any way, I ignored the looks and ordered my other favorite breakfast, Pancakes, oh, my God, I can eat pancakes every morning; one of the venues to my heart-there are many venues- is an old fashion freshly prepared hot off the griddle pancakes with maple syrup and real butter. Pancakes came and I thought that I would have a breakfast of a lifetime but I was disappointed, it was greasy, as if it was fried, those southerners, and not flat put on a flat surface to be prepared slowly. I ate it and looked around and I asked the server, the seventy-five years young little old lady if the owners are still running the place, and she answered no, but it is now part of a chain. That is it, part of a chain, basically as McDonald, a factory that mass-produce things for the people just to get full. I finished my food, and my Earl Grey tea, paid my bill, left a decent tip and went out, I looked back, gave another look and said goodbye to the old south. America now is not south and north, and I like it the way it is now, America is everything and everybody, America is all faiths and religions,. America is all styles and Shapes. Anyone that thinks otherwise needs to go to that restaurant and witness the abolishment of the old south.




* Some of the best and the brightest that America brought came from the south. The heart and soul of the US military reside in the south. This article is looking at an angle in the south but it does not represent the completely rich southern experience.

The Customer with the Big Nose! ... by Jamil Shawwa

I came to realize today that I might need to diversify my eating-places portfolio; I think I am starting to get more vibes than usual from my regular Vietnamese hangout. For the past few days, the sister of the owner who happens to be a server there has been bringing her six years old daughter; not sure why, maybe just to help or maybe she wanted to send a message to all the customers that she is happily married with children, not that anyone ever tried to be fresh with her or anything. She is warm, hospitable, I mean the sever, and very good in what she does. the other day she was having a native breakfast, did not get the name, but it was made out of thick milk, bananas and other fruit that looked like apples; it was so tasty and so sweet. Just for those that wonder, her breakfast time was my lunchtime. Probably I am getting either old so my lunch is getting earlier or my work schedule requires me to eat early, or both. Any way, back to that smart server and her six years old daughter. The child runs around and helps her mother with utensils and other lightweight things and smiles at the customers. So when I come to the place, she would say hello and help and chat a little, maybe her mother told her that this guy is a regular but I hope that she did not tell her that I'm regular for the girls, which truly I'm not, just regular for the food. any way, all of a sudden and out of the blues, today, this child decided to change her welcoming patterns to me, so instead of hi and hey, she came running to the table after I situated my self and got ready to order my usual, and she just threw the big one at me and said hey, you are the customer with the big nose! What big nose, no way, I said, and she answered yes you are, and she went running back to her mother who was smiling in a naughty but nice way from behind the counter. I was going to give this child a dollar today to buy candy but the big nose remark got me thinking as how this child- kids can and are very preseptives- know or would notice a big or small nose, and is there a conspiracy from my Vietnamese waitress to send Jamil a message that just focus on the food and nothing else. Well, any way, I will continue to go and might give a dollar to that child after all; I mean she just said what she saw, or maybe what her mother saw :))

The Indian Restaurant... by Jamil Shawwa

The Indian Restaurant is open for business, actually, it has been open for business for years and years but not until recently that the Indian restaurant picked up momentum. It is everywhere now, all over the world, in every major and metropolitan city. The Chinese restaurant phenomena should watch for that neighbor from the south, it is gaining ground and it has the learnt the secrets of how to spread restaurants wherever their people go. The food is very diverse, very colorful and very tasty. It accommodates all tastes from the natives, to the seekers of new flavours and new styles. India is huge, over a billion, another scale to compete with China, a nuclear power, enough said. Back to the food now, India has multi ethnic groups, different languages and dialects, different living standards and thriving international presence. It is so contradictory and its food might represent its diversity and its unity in the same time. The ingredients of the Indian food is the same, the spices are the same, the colors are the same but when you put a Sikh, Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Jewish Hindis, the cooking will not be the same. Their country is like their food, very diverse but in the same time once you cook, you will use the same ingredients. India is everywhere now, in food of course but also in IT, the computer technology, and programming. They go everywhere and they succeed, they do not care where they are, it is completely irrelevant to them, what matters to them is that they succeed. There is some kind of occasional religious tension in India but it is not hindering its political process. You see the diversity, again, in the restaurants; Hindus mostly eat vegetable, Muslims and other faiths eat everything. There are restaurants that cater to the veggies, I am not saying Hindus, because it does not exist, and there are restaurants that cater to all. You go and choose, you will be eating next to someone who is completely your opposite in eating habits, no problem, no intrusion, no preaching as why you are not like me and that I'm not like you. They do not have it, they have poverty but they have nuclear missles, and reactors. India loves the UK, Great Britain, and the British loves the Indians; the Indians are trustworthy, they are hard working people. They look up to England and they want the British to be proud of them, they recently bought Jaguar and Landrover, and tomorrow one of them will be the British Prime Minster. India is not an aggressor, this is a big point and credit in world politics and it does not seek world dominance, which again is a good point for them. India just wants to succeed, and it will do it everywhere it's people exist in any place in the world.

*State of Love IV.....He Bows... By Jamil Shawwa

He: What is next for us? I now feel that every time I want to make love with you or even attempt to start the process- oh my God, I started to talk like you- I have to check if you are mentally stimulated and that your mind is into it. What do I need here a radar detector... every time that I want to come near you, or start a new conversation hoping that it would be the one that would hit the jackpot and will lead eventually to your womanhood. You are making me too self-conscious about the whole thing, you are taking the spontaneity out of the lovemaking, you are just being like a machine, I have to make sure that it is well oiled before I turn on the engine. I am depressed, every part of me is urging me to just jump and do it, but you are standing or setting there with these cold eyes like a schoolteacher waiting to give me a passing grade or like a guard on a borderline checking my identity cards before letting me in to the other side, the greener side. I cannot handle it anymore; I am looking for love and not a robot. You have become so cold since our last lovemaking; you have become so distant, so not appealing. I only used to look at you to get aroused, not anymore. So tell me more, even in bed, if I turn around and want to hug you or kiss you or touch you, the way I like to do because I just can not keep my hands off you whenever you are with me, do I need to wake you up or ask for permission to see if your mind is there before doing anything. Do I need to give you a news bulletin before touching...?



She: keep talking, I am starting to feel the vibes coming from my mind to every part of my body, do not stop talking, your words, your voice is stimulating my mind, my heart and my body. I hear your voice inside me before even you touch me, my little thing is crying and hitting hard, my heart is jumping and my mind is telling me, go for it.. Do your work, you primitive beast.



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*Disclaimer:



For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance with any real life situations or people is just a mere coincidence. These conversations are not related to any specific person or persons. They are general human observations from life.