“Mrs. Abdeen…..Allow Me To Think loudly" by Jamil Shawwa

I hear your voice right now, Mrs. Abdeen, telling me that Abdeen is written with an I and not double E. I still do not do it, Mrs. Abdeen, the same mistake it seems, not sure, if it is stubbornness or what or is it slow thought process, in other words, if I am out of it. But how can I be out of it if I recognize it, how can anyone  be out of something if they know what they are doing, and they know that it might be wrong but still doing it. See, I am writing it with double E again. My name could be written with an I or double E but I have always wrote it with an I, but for some reason, I write your name with double E. The point I am trying to make- about time I think- is that both could be right, so why we humans sometimes torture ourselves in trying to be perfect and usually in the process, we become far from perfection. I have many more questions, Mrs. Abdeen, but I do not want to bring back too much memories of that pupil you had in Jerusalem in 1974, who was an ok student but a student who was full of questions, probing everything you say and requesting sources and backups until your eyes would start rolling and then and only then, he would stop asking.  “Listen” that was your favourite word for us to become quiet or refocus. I do not look back, Mrs. Abdeen, I cannot, I do not live in the past Mrs. Abdeen, I just cannot, and I do not cry over something that is done, although it might have been a treasure that was lost due to stubbornness or stupidity or both. Still, Mrs. Abdeen, it is the same problem, knowing something that is not good but still doing it. Maybe it is the trial and error that we humans must live by; it is the nature of the curious human to test, to try, to examine, to push the boundaries further. I think this is how great things happen in life when we just try, when we do not stop, when we do not get timid and afraid. There is something going in the Middle East right now Mrs., Abdeen, in the Arab countries at this moment, people are going to the streets but they are not sure of the outcome, they are not sure if what they are doing is right or wrong, they are just going, and they are venting and for the first time in the history of the Arabs, the rulers are listening, they have no choice anymore, Mrs. Abdeen, but to listen, who would have thought that this day would come, who would have thought that the poor, the hungry, the disfranchised, the hopeless, the humiliated in the streets of  Egypt, Yemen, Libya, Bahrain, Algeria, Tunisia and every other Arab country would just say Enough, we have had it, and just rise like a bright summer morning sun . I wonder Mrs., Abdeen, what would have happened if the people just sat back and just thought if what they are doing or going to do is right or wrong.